So, I've been analyzing my dreams again and...guys...I think I'm going to hell when I die.
- In the first dream I can remember, I was half-drowning, surrounded by freaky ghoulish things.
- The third dream had Mary (scolding? I dunno...) me from a distance, with a sunset underneath.
- The second dream had me dangling above what looked like hellfire.
- The fourth dream had teenage girls knocking teeth out with hammers, sitting on dog fur as their leader held up a decapitated head with every tooth but the front two removed; the explanation being they'd sacrifice them to a demon of some sort. I saved one of the dogs, but it's still weird...did I mention this was in broad daylight?! And that when I woke up I can still remember the details of the teeth and the redness of the blood?
Update: 5/6. Mary plays a cameo role here, running away and leaving me to the devices of my old friend from high school, who rants about me abandoning her, then harangues me into going to her talent show against the wishes of my third grade teacher. I do, and lo and behold, a black cat shows up.
Me, my dad, his friend, another high school teacher. We've been at a grocery store, hunting down a box of Cheezits all day. She's just about given up, and her pink-dressed self asks, "Why are we doing this?" before the dream hurtles me partially back to dream #3.
Update: old guy is way too thrilled to see me in contrast to his guests, who all look like miserable Titian angels glaring at me while the guy continues to praise that I'm at the party, shooing me away before I can talk to them. Bizarrely typed note shows up with a misspelled follow scratched out in purple pen.
This feels...demoralizing. I mean, there's still hope, I can still be "good"...but...just...why?
jthrash
Not going to lie, these posts really scare me.
If you are a Christian, though, if you truly accept Jesus in your heart, then you’re basically going to Heaven and will lose the desire to commit deadly sins, which basically means you won’t suddenly forfeit your ticket to Heaven on accident. A lot of old-school pastors still teach a lot of scary fire-and-brimstone stuff to scare Christian-in-name-only hypocrites straight, but it sounds like you’re being scared needlessly. The God in the Bible is not an Eldritch god of destruction—he’s not going to punish you unless you deliberately try to be an evil person and enjoy hurting others. Some sects don’t even believe that there is a Hell—I’ve read the Bible 3 times now and it never directly uses the word Hell, let alone clearly suggest bad people go there as opposed to constantly reminding readers that Heaven is real and awesome.
stuckathome
I'm sorry.
I've just believed that my whole life (Apostolic) and now...well, I find it weird I'm being plagued by these dreams and these things NOW of all times when I was just starting to feel good about myself.
Using this as my diary kind of does help - but I'm sure this might be the last "doom" one.